Monday, January 28, 2013

I haven’t ‘blogged’ in quite some time, but for whatever reason, I felt the need tonight. Why you may ask...or maybe you didn’t, but I’ll give you the answer anyways. Panic attacks. Ugh. They suck more than that lady who swoops in and steals your parking spot at the overly packed ‘I think there may be a snow storm coming and we need bread and twinkies’ (ok, maybe I’m the only one who thinks of twinkies because I’m going through a fat phase right now and I’d totally stock up on them (if they still existed) if a snow storm was coming, but because we live in Texas and snow storms here are practically non-existent so it’s probably not something that would actually happen), grocery store parking lot. Yeah...they just suck. A few months ago I had convinced myself that I had completely defeated the horror that is the panic attack, but apparently, I haven’t. Bummer.

I obviously have entirely too many ramblings going on in my head, so maybe a ‘vent’ would help get some of the crazy thoughts out and allow me to focus on more important things in my life like making sure my kid wears pants to school. Yeah, that’s really a conversation that is had with him. He’s apparently not a fan of pants.

Last Thursday, I had the Granddaddy of all panic attacks and had to call 911 from my cell phone while driving into work. I told the operator that I was pretty sure I was having a heart attack to which she responded by immediately putting me on hold which I believe pulled me out of the ‘Oh dear Lord, I’m dying’ thought process that a panic attack ensues. Yup, on hold...seriously. I told the operator that I was pretty sure I was dying and she said ‘ok, I’m going to get you on with a paramedic. Don’t hang up.’ Little did I know that the ‘don’t hang up’ advice was because I was going to be put on hold for 10 minutes. Of course, by the time that the panic attack passed I hung up only to be called back a few minutes later by an operator who told me they already had an ambulance on the way and to just hang tight. When the paramedics showed up, I had to explain to them from a half opened car window (mostly because I was super embarrassed) that I was pretty sure I had just had a panic attack and I was going to be okay. Of course, by the time they pulled away my brain went directly back into the idea of, ‘maybe you really are dying and you’ve just let all of your help leave and now you’re going to die in the parking lot of a Texaco off of the highway and Lord only knows if you call them back you’ll be put on hold again and by the time they make it here you’ll for sure be a goner’, but I pulled myself out of that one too…obviously because I’m blogging about it now. See, I desperately need an outlet.

Seriously, this is the life of someone who has panic attacks for absolutely no reason at all. I know that all of my blogs in the past have been about how fabulously wonderful or crazy my family is, but maybe I should change directions and address the crap that is making me not so, well, fabulously wonderful. Even if no one ever reads this, I can one day look back and know that I have survived. Okay, so it’s not like a cancer survival story or a my husband was a serial killer in a secret second life story, but it’s my panic attack survival story and that’s all I can look forward to right now. I was somehow picked to be one of the 40 million that suffer from this ridiculously indescribable mental disorder that so many people do not understand, but that the few who do can relate to may run across my story and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Not because I’ve gotten there yet, but because I have decided that I will get there come hell or high water.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

It was just a simple trip to the store.

Well, that is what it was supposed to be anyways.

Me and Anthony had to make a quick trip to Ross to return a car that he got a couple of days ago that didn't work and then to Braum's for a gallon of milk. Sounds easy, right...wrong.

I load Anthony into the car and head off down the road. A couple of minutes into our trip Anthony screams "Mom!! Stop the car!!" from the backseat. I freak and quickly ask WHAT!?! He tells me that Clifford (yeah, the big red dog) has wiggled out of his seat belt and he didn't want to get a ticket. Aggghhh! Really?

Okay, nerves back to normal and we pull in to Ross. I make the 'okay, we're just running in and returning this and then we're out' speech and we head in the store. We stand in line for a bit...apparently a bit to long, because now Anthony is itching to go and see if they have another car to replace the one that we are returning. "Just real quick mommy, pretty please" (insert puppy dog eyes here). Okay, how do I say no to that? Alright. But just real quick. Return was finally made and we head to the back of the store where they keep the toys. After ENTIRELY too long, Anthony finally sets his sights on a truck that is pulling a trailer with a four wheeler on the back. Yay, we get to leave. Nope. He has bow discovered that they actually have three similar trucks, one white with a green four wheeler, one grey with a red four wheeler and one yellow with a tractor. Now to decide on color. I think I want the white the grey maybe the red one (of course all of these decisions are made as we are making our way back to the front of the store with the current decision). Okay, finally he decided on the white one with the green four wheeler and I decided that I have had enough so this decision was final. We check out and head out to the car. I get Anthony strapped in (and anyone with a toddler knows this can be a big task in itself!) and I go around to get in the car, seat belt on, car started and Anthony says, 'Oh no! Clifford!! I left him in the store.' Arrghh!! I turn off the car, unbuckle Anthony and back in the store we go. Luckily we found Clifford hiding under the two unpicked trucks and head on out again. Now off to Braum's for some milk.

We get to Braum's and as always, Anthony wanted to be my 'big helper', so he ran to the cooler, grabbed a gallon of milk and we head up to the register to check out. We get to the counter and I watched as Anthony hoists the milk above his head (to put it on the counter) and then behind his head because he has now lost control and then in horror, I watch the explosion as it hits the floor. Clean up on Aisle 1! He totally soaked an older gentleman who I probably apologized 100 times to and there was milk on everything within a 50 feet radius.

I was mortified, but as the saying goes, don't cry over spilled (or exploded) milk.


Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Things seem like they have gone a mile a minute around here lately! As most everyone knows our Winnie Winnie the Wonder Kitty passed away a couple of months ago which seemed to open the door for all kinds of doom. Soon after that our dog Sadie was hit by a car and because of the accident, we had to amputate her right front leg. In the midst of all of that, my uncle passed away from a very untimely stroke and Brian's uncle passed away after a long battle with cancer. I joked (as I often do at the most inappropriate times) that it wasn't a good time to be related to us. Terrible, I know...

On a bit of a happier note, Brian is doing well with his company. I have just started a new job, J-Bug only has 5 weeks of school left until she becomes a mighty 7th grader (insert vomit sound here) and Anthony has started in an in home preschool program. On an even better note, after years (no seriously, years!) of searching, we have finally found a church home. Thank you Jesus!!

I know it's not much, and if you follow me on Facebook (the main reason for the slow impending death of my blog) you've probably already read most of this, but for those who don't, now you're all caught up on the going ons around here.

Love you all!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

3 Already!

Last weekend we celebrated Anthony's 3rd birthday. He was quite excited about his birthday and in fact, the first words that came out of his mouth were, 'Do we get to eat cupcakes today?' Aww.

Gracie made some of the yummiest cupcakes ever for the party (THANK YOU GRACIE!!) and Anthony scored big time on gifts! His absolute favorite was his motorcycle which he asks to sleep with every night, but because we have to get a battery charger and some training wheels put on the motorcycle first, he has gone with his next favorite present, his bicycle. This is ridden everyday, all day. He wakes up in the morning and jumps on his bike, and as soon as we get home from the sitters, he's right back on it. He has ridden at least 1,000 laps around the living room on it and would eat dinner on it if I let him (but I don't...the line has to be drawn somewhere, jeeze!)

Anyways, we had a great time at the party and although no kids showed :(, we maanged to make the best of the situation and partied out anyways! Thanks to everyone who came and made his birthday special! :)

P.S. I do have pictures to post, but my computer is being a total pain in the rompus right now, so I will get them up soon. :)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Where have you been??

I have come to realize that saying that I will do a better job to keep my blog updated is like blog suicide, so I won’t say it now but have the best intentions to do you know what. :)

Jaiden started middle school (WHAT!!) last week and so far so good. She has a fabulous schedule with all of her important classes at the beginning, then lunch, choir, PE, theatre arts and then she goes home. Awesome for her.

Anthony has slowly been driving us all crazy with the “Why?” question. Every statement made by anyone within his earshot is asked “Why?”. We keep telling ourselves, ‘it’s just a phase, it’s just a phase, it’s just a phase.’

Brian is still working (and kicking major butt) at at&t. The retail hours are about to kill us both, but we both know that right now we just have to be thankful that he has a job. I know there are still so many people out there who don’t.

And as for me, I’m still working at the same place, doing the same thing that I have done for the past 7 years. Good grief! I am also in the process of planning Anthony’s third birthday which will be at our house on the 18th of September. 3 already! I can’t believe it.

Until next time!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Remember Us? :)

Okay, so it has been forever since I have posted a Blog, so I decided with the New Year, comes a new post...

Brian has been working his tail off at AT&T selling cell phones. Not his ideal job, but it is paying the bills and he has sold to more than a couple of Dallas Cowboys (and anyone who knows my husband knows that alone is priceless). Here he is with one of his new buddies, Chad Hennings.

Jaiden is still my little spit-fire! She is in the fifth grade now and is doing really well. Much better than last year. Thank you Jesus! For Christmas, she received a total bedroom remodel where she was able to pick out the paint, furniture and all the decorations for her bedroom. To our surprise, she went with a soft blue green color on the walls but she picked a turquoise color for the closet and bedroom door. When she finally decided on the colors, I asked her if she was sure that is what she wanted and that we kind of thought she would go a bit crazier...she replied with 'Mom, I AM getting older now.' Good grief! I did paint her room and it really turned out nicely! The worst part about it though was when she decided that she wanted the bottom half of her room painted in the blue green color and the top half white. Since moving into our house three years ago, the ceiling in her room has never been painted and BOY did it show when I started the white on the walls. That then made it where I had to go ahead and paint the ceiling and as I told Brian, NEVER again will I paint a ceiling!! That was some work there!! Our house is a product of the 80's so popcorn ceilings throughout. If you have ever had to do this before, you will understand the pain I (and my right shoulder) went through. Sadly, now that her room is painted in the starkest most brilliant white that we could find, it really shows throughout the rest of the casa! Looks like more projects are heading our way!

Anthony is still running wild as you probably all witnessed first hand over the holidays. He definitely keeps us on our toes (and me in a size 0-2)! He hasn't damaged anything too considerably in the past week or so, so I am sure that a very colorful post regarding just that will soon follow. We did however find a large spot on the very top of his head the other night at dinner. I couldn't tell what it was exactly at first, but after a closer inspection, I found that it was dried blood a bit larger than a silver dollar. I was amazed for a couple of reasons. 1. I didn't remember him falling or hitting his head on anything; and 2. He NEVER complained about it, not a whimper or an 'oww', nothing. The cut wasn't as bad as it originally looked but it was still a cut....on his head! Again, Good grief!

and, yes. that is his underwear on his head. :)

I am still plugging away at the law office that I have now been at for 7 years. Sadly though, the attorney's that I work for are attempting to wrap things up and close shop simply because they have other things to do. I occasionally get a 'you're safe until...' speech and as of now, I am safe until April. Cross your fingers that things stay the same. I am a creature of habit and don't enjoy life to get jostled out of its original state. I am now in the process of getting the house back in order after what looked like a small tornado ran through it. Last weekend we started the remodel on Jaiden's room, the dryer broke (with a load of partially dried clothes in it, of course) and then the washer broke (full of wet, partially cleaned clothes in it...of course). Needless to say, my house resembled a college dorm room (or a 'hippie love pad' as my mom referred to it) complete with a full size mattress and box springs in my dining room, wet clothes hanging all over the house, a dresser in the hallway, the full sized bed frame leaned against my bedroom wall and Jaiden's clothes and personables strewn all about the house. It was a disaster, but thanks to help from mom, it is once again looking 'livable'.

So, that's us for now. I promise to do better at keeping this updated throughout the year!!
Peace and love to all of you!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Just a little update. :)

I'm trying to think of all that has gone on since I posted last, but when you live in my house, you come to find that everyday seems to bring on a new exciting story...

Momma Duck hatched 4 or 5 of the eggs that were layed in our front flower bed. Honestly, we have no idea if the duck actually hatched them or if some animal got a hold of them, but we found remnants of several eggs, we haven't seen her since and we have just decided to take the happier ending. :)

Momma Robin hatched her eggs also and we are pretty sure that three of the four survived. It was amazing how quickly those little birds grew! Jaiden was never a fan of the baby birds...she thought they were UGLY, but I did manage to snap a couple of pictures of them before they flew the coop!

Brian started working at At&t last week. I can't say that he loves it, but it's a job and it gives a paycheck and unfortunately, we are just in those times right now. He's really being a trooper about it and I love him for it!

Jaiden is doing okay in school. She might have slacked off a bit here at the end, but hopefully with all of the hard work that she put in throughout the year, it will be okay (and we might even get to avoid summer school!!!) She has been pretty busy outside of school too. She is in her school play this morning and then tomorrow she does a performance for the parents at night. We're super excited about it. Next week she will perform in her very first piano recital. She is playing Oh Susannah that she has practiced and practiced. Her piano teacher is even going to let her use the banjo function on her keyboard, so she is stoked! Here is a picture of Jaiden and Daniela (a friend of ours) at Great Wolf Lodge a couple of weekends ago.

And then we come to Anthony...oh my. He is wild. I could write an entire book of insanely crazy things he has done already and I've only had the kid for 20 months! Since the last time I posted anything he has: (1) bitten through his bottom lip due to a fall into the side of the bathtub; (2) found the can of skittles that Daddy kept in the little fridge in the sunroom; (3) ate the skittles from the can in little fridge in the sunroom; (4) climbed onto the top of the bar to get the can of skittles after Mom and Dad realized that he was getting into the skittles; (5) got into a fight with the other kid at the sitters, had a scratch on his back and a shiner to prove it; (6) locked Mom and J-Bug out of the house via deadbolt (try explaining unlocking a deadbolt to a 20 month old); (7) freefallen off of the top (the very tippity top) of the couch after climbing to the top to turn the lamp on and off and on and off; (8) climbed into the dryer to hide from Mommy, got comfortable and decided to hang out for a while (all the while I couldn't find him) :); (9) cleaned the toilet with Mommy's toothbrush; (10) ...well you get the point. Always an adventure!

I can't imagine why it is so difficult for Brian and I to get a babysitter! If you would like to volunteer your time, just let me know! HA!

This weekend we are off to Houston to celebrate my nephew, Kai's birthday and to spend some much needed time with my brother's and thier families who we haven't seen in forever! Bad thing is I will have to spend 4+ hours in the car with my monster child and Jaiden...wish me luck!